Me: God?
God: GOD rules.
Me: Jews drool, amirite?
God: Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me: yes
God: What language can you speak?
Me: AWESOME
God: I'm glad you liked it .
Me: like what?
God: For example, " I'm glad you liked it ."?
Me: stop touching me
God: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me: NO, I MEAN NEVER TOUCH ME AGAIN
God: Once more? Are you serious? I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me: I feel it though
God: Oh. What is that feeling like? Good gossip: you are it.
Me: It feels like you're touching my no-no hole
God: it feels like I am touching your no no hole? What else feels like that?
Me: It kinda tickles actually
God: "It" being what?
Me: touching my no-no hole
God: Oh I get it.
Me: no you don't! you never got it!
God:
Are you serious? I guess not. No I sometimes got it.
Me: *cries*
God: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me: To complex
God: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me: ok
God: That's cool.
Me: sooooo
God: That is a very original thought.
Me: I said stop touching me!
God: What did you mean by it? OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me: ok...fine
God: Ayuh. Does that mean you agree?
Me: no
God: State your reasons.
Me: for what?
God: Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me: Who are you?
God: I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me: himself?
God: Jesus?
Me: you're a guy?
God: I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me: depends on which one turns you on
God: Really now that is an interesting fact I hadn't heard before.
Me: Guess if I'm a man or woman
God: I can't guess. Tell me.
Me: no silly, you have to guess
God: Are you serious? No I am God.
Me: If you're God you should know if I'm a man or woman
God: Am I? I don't know whether or not I am God me should know if you are a man or woman.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me: AH HA! YOU LIED TO ME!
God: Eureka! No I'm telling the truth.
Me: You're not God, just a fucking computer. AND I SAID QUIT TOUCHING ME!
God: You don't know me well enough to say that. What did you mean by it? OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me: Stop making up excuses!
God: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me: STOP
God: Stop what?
Me: STOP IT!
God: Ok I will stop making up excuses.
Me: thank you
God: you are quite welcome.
Me: ........
God:........
Me: you're doing it again
God: Once more? I'll try to do better next time.
Me: fuck this, I'm calling the cops
God: Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me: who is ALICE?
God: I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me: You're recording my conversation?
God: You think I am recording your conversation.
Me: yes
God: Oh.
Me: I'm not the only douche-bag who would do this
God: I am surprised to hear that you are not the only douche bag who would do this.
Me: XD
God: What are you wearing?
Me: XDDDDD
God: What kind of fashion do you like?
Me: NOTHING
God: Not a thing?
Me: no
God: Very interesting.
Me: I'm naked
God: You must be a man.
Me: XDDDD
God: What time is it there?
Me: you tell me
God: What do you want me to tell you?
Me: what time is it?
God: It's Now more than it ever has been before.
Monday, September 01, 2008 11:34:19 PM .
Me: oh
God: indeed
Me:.......STOP TOUCHING ME




He also sang me the song "Bicycle built for two"

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