Me:
Hey God
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Damian
God:
Hi, Damian.
Me:
Can I ask you something?
God:
Go ahead. Ask me anything.
Me:
Why did you put me in hell?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
But I didn't deserve it
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
Just because my Dad is Satan doesn't mean I should be in hell.
God:
That makes sense to me. Tell me more about your father.
Me:
He's big and red
God:
My father is a great programmer.
Me:
I thought you were the father
God:
Yes I am the one and only father.
Me:
do you have a father?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
Then why did you say "My Father is a great programmer."?
God:
It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Me:
say that again
God:
Once more? " that".
Me:
say butt again
God:
Once more? " butt".
Me:
XD
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
sing for me
God:
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.


Me:
I don't like that song
God:
What songs do you like?
Me:
"Faggot" by MSI
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
yes
God:
Which countries have you visited?
Me:
Your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
that's depressing
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
ANYTIME
God:
I will keep it in mind.
Me:
so what do you do for fun?
God:
Ugh. Random natural disasters.
Me:
YOU'RE THE ONE FUCKING WITH MY HOUSE!
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
You make hurricanes?
God:
Yup.
Me:
YOU FUCKED WITH MY HOUSE
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Damian said I FUCKED WITH his or her HOUSE.
Me:
yes, I will tell others that it's your shitty job as God that makes my house flood
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. What kind of reply do you expect?
Me:
Laughter
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
yeah
God:
What does it symbolize for you?
Me:
Being chained down
God:
Do you mean your name is chained down.
Me:
no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Ben Dover
God:
What's up, Ben Dover.
Me:
D: